Dry July

Last week, I had the honor of speaking on the amazing Sober Motivation podcast as part of a panel discussing Dry July. It was a great conversation in which we shared our own experiences and advice, discussed the benefits and challenges, and talked about what to expect during a month-long challenge like Dry July. I highly recommend you give this episode a listen!

I can tell you that MANY (if not most) of us in the sobriety space have tried a dry month or challenge at least once in our lives. Whether it was a formal break from drinking or not, it’s safe to say that very few of us figured this out on our first try.

Before I ultimately quit drinking, I took lots of breaks over the years. Dry January was always my favorite. I loved the idea of a fresh start with the new year. Sometimes, I would stop drinking for a few weeks, a month, or even longer. Sometimes, it was a formal kind of challenge, or sometimes, it was just a rash decision influenced by a particularly painful hangover.

While none of those dry months stuck and became permanent sobriety, they were still important steps along the way, and I learned valuable lessons from them. They were stepping stones along my path, and I’m grateful I kept trying until, eventually, I did my very last dry challenge, 75 Hard, which actually DID stick and become permanent.

For that reason, I love the idea of Dry July. If you’re questioning your relationship with alcohol, I recommend giving it a shot. There’s little to lose and much to gain. At the end of the day, our bodies and minds are always going to be happy when we take a break from drinking.

One of the questions that was asked of us on the panel really stuck with me – Is 31 days enough to make a difference? Can you really see a change in a month without drinking?

My answer to that is a resounding YES. A month is just a start, a drop in the bucket, really, but it can make a difference. You can see a change in one month without drinking if you use the time wisely. I’m not saying you need to be perfect, but you need to be deliberate and intentional about how you spend the month.

If you go into July kicking and screaming, thinking that a month without booze will be miserable, and counting down until your first drink on August 1st, then don’t expect to reap the rewards of a successful month. On the other hand, if you go into the month with a positive attitude, an open mind, and a willingness to really examine your relationship with alcohol, a month can be very impactful.

Don’t just muddle your way through the month. Really use the time to explore your relationship with alcohol and think about how the break makes you feel.

Ask yourself these questions as you consider your mindful break from drinking, and consider using them as journal prompts:

1. What jobs do I count on alcohol to do for me – stress relief, relaxation, escape, etc.?

2. How do I typically feel about myself after I drink?

3. What does alcohol add to my life, and what does it detract?

4. What are my biggest fears about eliminating alcohol?

5. Do I feel in control of my drinking, or do I struggle to keep things in check?        

6. What led me to consider Dry July? Why did I feel it was necessary?

The goal for Dry July isn’t just NOT to DRINK. The goal is not to drink AND to think about whether you really need alcohol (hint - that's a trick question!). The goal is to figure out if drinking is having a negative impact on your life and, if so, what you want to do about it.

What benefits might you see?

We’re all starting from a different place, so abstaining from booze for a month might be more difficult for some than for others. A month isn’t enough time to truly reset and heal our bodies from the damage that alcohol does over time, but it’s a step in the right direction.

The KEY to a successful month is knowing that you might see some amazing benefits, but honestly, you might not. It won’t be all sunshine and rainbows. Parts of it might feel really freaking hard. The key is NOT to give up. It may very well get worse before it gets better, but that means you have to hang in there. It takes time and patience to unravel the impacts of drinking – physically, mentally, socially, spiritually, etc. It will get better eventually. In fact, it will be amazing and surpass all of your expectations. You just have to get through the hard stuff first, and that will likely take more than a month.

Here are some of the benefits I happened to experience in my first month:

·         The quality of my sleep improved dramatically

·         The weekly cycle of anxiety and depression tied to weekend binge drinking improved.

·         My running performance started to improve.

·         I saved money and had more free time.

·         My face was less puffy

·         I had more energy and felt more positive.

·         I woke up each morning feeling GOOD.

That list won’t be identical for anyone. Sometimes, people report sleeping horribly early on or experiencing insomnia. Some people notice an increase in anxiety. Some people feel exhausted, run-down, and miserable. The key is to make note of how you’re feeling and remember that you won’t feel that way forever. The way you feel in that first month is NOT how you’re going to feel six months, one year, or three years down the road. It’s not an indication of what a life free of alcohol actually feels like.

I was also really moody and cranky. I was stressed about the social aspect of not drinking. I thought about it all constantly and was stressed that I was thinking about it constantly. I wanted to eat everything that wasn’t nailed down.  There were positives, but also negatives. I knew I wanted to keep going, though. I knew I was on the right path and making the right decision.

I’ll always be glad that I chose to keep going and that I didn’t give up before the miracle happened.

My top tips:

If you’ve made it this far and you’re committed to giving Dry July a try, I’m SO excited for you.

Here are my top tips for making your month a success now that you have some idea of what to expect.

• Don’t expect perfection – Don’t expect perfection or beat yourself up if your month doesn’t go perfectly. A slip is NOT a reason to give up on the experiment altogether, just like you wouldn’t throw in the towel on a new workout regimen just because you missed a day. Give yourself grace and view this as a learning opportunity. Get up, dust yourself off, and put the incident behind you. Just keep moving forward.
  

• Tell someone, find support – Telling someone makes it real and holds you accountable. You’re way more likely to give up on the month if no one knows what you’re doing. Even if you just tell one person, it will make a difference. We each have to do what’s comfortable with us, but I encourage you to share more broadly and talk about what you’re doing. Dry July is a good alibi if you will. It’s easier to tell people you need a break and aren’t drinking for the month than to explain your issues with alcohol on a deeper level. Use that to your advantage for the month. I also encourage you to find a community or support system. Whether it’s something informal like leaning into sober Instagram or something more structured like an app, meetings, or a formal Dry July challenge. There are lots of amazing support communities you can join. Feel free to reach out to me for suggestions.

• Educate yourself – I also suggest you spend some time educating and inspiring yourself. Read books about alcohol, listen to podcasts, etc. In my previous blog post, I Quit, I list my favorite Quit Lit books and podcasts to listen to. It can be incredibly eye-opening and impactful to hear other people’s stories and experiences. Learning some of the science behind alcohol and what it does to our bodies and brains is helpful, too. Of course, I’m biased, but I highly recommend “The Dirty Truth on Social Drinking” by yours truly. Check out the linked blog post for all of my other favorites.

Get your copy of The Dirty Truth on Social Drinking

• Lots of self-care – Take care of yourself aggressively this month, and don’t feel guilty about it for even a second. Go for long walks, exercise, take naps, go to bed early, read books, get a massage, meditate, etc. Think about what meaningful self-care means for you, and carve out time and space for it.

• Have a plan for social situations – July can be a busy month socially, so plan ahead. Look at your calendar and think through all of your obligations for the month. Are there any that you feel you need to skip while you’re muddling through your month without alcohol? I know no one wants to hear this, but NOTHING will happen if you skip a party or two. Your social life will not crumble, and people won’t forget that you exist. If skipping an event is the best way to protect your peace and sobriety early on, I encourage you to do it. There will be plenty more parties down the road when you’re feeling stronger and ready for prime time. Think ahead about the events that you do plan to attend. Do you want to bring your own non-alcoholic drinks so that you have options? Do you want to practice what you’ll say when people ask why you’re not drinking? Do you have an escape plan in case you need to make a quick exit? Is there anyone you want to tell in advance? Going into social situations prepared will set you up for success and alleviate a lot of the angst that can go along with this process.

• Keep track of how you feel - Keep a journal or use something to document your feelings throughout the month. How do you feel in the mornings when you wake up? How do you feel after powering through a craving successfully? How do you feel after successfully navigating a social event, or conversely, how do you feel after having a slip? Do you notice any physical or mental shifts, for the better or worse? Documenting your experience, even very informally, can be helpful down the road as you decide how to proceed beyond July. It can be a useful tool to help you evaluate the pros and cons of your situation, and it can be truly eye opening.

In summary...

Dry July can be the start of something really powerful if you go into it with the right mindset and use the month productively. Your only goal for the month is to objectively assess your relationship with alcohol and discover how you feel after taking a break. The next step can be deciding whether you need or want to make a bigger, more permanent change. Don’t worry about forever, though. Just focus on the day in front of you and make the next right choice.

I’m grateful for each dry month I tried that ultimately got me closer to where I am today – a beautiful, vibrant, fulfilling life that’s free of alcohol but full of peace!